And so the adventure begins

Hello sweetheart, 

We found out today that all our checks and references were good and we are moving to stage two of the adoption process. A step closer to you. 

I was so excited when I saw that email. We have been waiting for you for so long. 

Tonight though I feel a little scared. I suppose uncertainty does that to people. I’m not scared about you, not at all. I know you will be amazing and that you will steal my heart when I meet you. 

I am scared that I won’t be as good as you deserve. I’m scared that maybe I won’t be as good at motherhood as I hope to be. 

I will have everything I’ve ever wanted but I’m terrified I won’t be enough. 

I can promise you though that I will always do my best for you. Always. Because you are worth it a million times over. 

I wonder if you are born yet, perhaps only just or perhaps you are a few years old already. A little fighter I bet. 

I hope you are safe. I love you very much. 

Mummy x 

Hi baby, 

It was two years ago that I really started to think about how you will come into our lives. Now it is January 2015 and we know for sure that we want to adopt. 

We are busy getting the house decorated and everything we do is being done with you in mind. I can’t wait until the house is full of life, I can’t wait for you to be part of our family. 

Of course we have not met you yet but I dream about that day. I often find myself wondering what you will look like, what you will like to do, what your favourite colour will be, your favourite song. I cant wait to get to know you. 

This is a big year for us, soon we will contact an adoption agency and start finding out about how we become parents…how we find you.

It can’t come soon enough.

Love Mummy 

Hello Sweetheart.

Its January 2013 and I am supposed to be writing an essay for my Masters, but all I can think about is you, and I don't even know you yet, you don't even exist. I am a little sad today because I am scared that I won't be able to have a baby. But there are options; I don't know how you are going to come into our family yet, whether i will be able to get pregnant or if we will adopt you but it really doesn't matter, your Dad and I will love you with all our hearts anyway.I hope you know that, always.

We are hoping to have you in our lives in 2016 which seems like forever away right now, I can't wait to hold you for the first time.I know some people might think it's silly to be writing to you now, before you even exist, but I think it is OK to dream. In fact I hope you are a dreamer too, dream big sweetheart, you can do and be whatever you want. 

I have to go now because I really need to finish start my essay, because I want to be the best I can be for you. 

I love you, Mummy xx